Numquam fuerunt, sed carpe diem. Translated from Latin? this literally means , "Never live in the past, instead, seize the day." Believe me; I am fully aware that "carpe diem" has become a bit cliche. (Thank you cordially, "Dead Poets' Society").
Do you think you can miss out on a moment? like an opportunity?
Do you think you can miss out on an opportunity within a moment?
Do you then believe it's too late, and the course of your life is changed forever.
Because I absolutely believe this..
But I also believe that life is not made up of a single moment, it's made up of a gazillion moments.
The real question is, what defines us?
I know it's the choice we make in the next moment, and the next one after that; these are the attributes that define us.
These moments; they're happening all around you and I, they're happening all around us all of the time.
You're having one right now.
I had a friend, a close friend, actually. His name was "The Boy." Now I'm not creating some "code name" as to conceal his identity. Everyone literally called him "The Boy." He had an old van. (similar to the "rapist-van" stereotype) He'd drive by me in this old van with his head out the window (even in the middle of winter) screaming "YAAAARG!!!" like he was some kind of pirate. In the winter, we would sit in that old van during all of our lunch breaks and listen to music as loud as we could. He was my favorite co-worker; anytime I dropped something while I was at work (or anywhere for that matter) he'd yell "You've killed us all!" I remember skipping school and play practice to go play "Call Of Duty: Black Ops Zombies" for hours! I still remember walking down the middle of Main street at 2:00 a.m. hiding from the very occasional passing car. His name was Nathaniel Cazier, Thannie, or (to his real friends and I) he was The Boy. He accounts for almost half of my music library. He went with me to my second (and favorite) concert. This kid had a smile that could cheer up anyone, he had a heart big enough for your problems, and he was always there for you. Needless to say, I'm gonna miss the crap out of him.
On Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012, I received a phone call informing me that my friend, The Boy, had committed suicide. I was heartbroken, I was shocked, I was angry, really angry. But most of all, I was confused. This remarkable young man had shown no signs! I know that the obvious response for someone in my situation would be to tell myself: "There was nothing you could do, don't blame yourself." I tried telling this to myself a thousand times. The biggest problem? I didn't believe it. Somewhere in the back of my mind I believed that I could have changed his mind; that all he would have had to do is call me, and that I could have told him how much he meant to me.
It's been a month and a half since he passed away. He's now buried on the side of one of the prettiest mountains in the world, Oak City Mountain Cemetery. He left behind his parents, his little brother, two older brothers, three best friends, over twenty-five co-workers, his cousin Houston (who was his hero), a gang of boys duly named "The Oak City Militia, many other friends, and of course, me.
The Boy was characterized by his big smile, his understanding demeanor, his completely contagious laugh, and amazingly witty sense of humor.
I've learned a little bit about myself in these past six weeks. I've learned that I will never let a friend go to bed angry. I've learned that life is greatest gift that we've been given. I've learned of the power of friendship, family, and the Lord in times of struggle. I'm going to live life to the fullest, because I know that it's worth living.
And to anyone who is reading this: dream as if you will live forever, live as though you will die today, never let your friends or family go to bed angry.
"It's being here, now; that is important. There's no past and no future. Time is a very misleading thing. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope of the future, but we don't know if there is one."
-George Harrison
Take time to truly enjoy the little things in life.
Numquam fuerunt, sed carpe diem.
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